We've all been there: that weird little limbo between "together" and "broken up", when two people kind of know they have problems but are not yet at the point of wanting to admit that they want out.
During this time, behavior can be quite strange; you're still acting mostly like a couple, at least outwardly, but internally, pretty much anything goes. Let's take a look at what's going on inside your head.
As you progress through the stage in between "together" and "broken up", the emotional distance, not to mention the actual physical distance, between you and your partner becomes bigger and bigger. And at a certain point that distance will become so great that you find yourself thinking more as a single person than as someone who is part of a couple.
Here are three things to look for. If you recognize yourself in these, it's time for a possibly uncomfortable talk with your partner. Do otherwise and you run the risk of actually acting like you're a free agent before you become one.
1. You are looking at and thinking about other people
And the thing is, you're not doing it just for fun. You're checking out other people and thinking about what it would be like to approach them. You fantasize (albeit briefly) about how you'd be with them instead. You compare what you have with what you could have with this other person. All clear signs that you have mentally checked out of your current relationship.
It comes down to this; you're spending more time pondering what you could have with another partner than thinking about what you already have. It's not a stretch to say that you aren't satisfied anymore.
2. You fantasize about alone time
A few years ago you'd have a bad day at work and come home to a lovely cuddle with your partner; it was the highlight of your day. Not anymore. Now the very thought of it is a sore point. It's become just one more thing you have to deal with. Instead, you're wishing for alone time.
I'm a big fan of always having adequate alone time, even in the happiest of romantic situations, but if you find that your comfort no longer is in the arms of your lover, you might want to reconsider what you're still doing there.
3. Your plans don't include him/her
Once upon a time, during the magical part of your relationship, you couldn't even imagine ever breaking up, so naturally, all the plans for your future (immediately and distant) included the happy, shining face of your significant other right there next to you.
But now your relationship has hit a pothole. You realize that as a couple you actually are breakable and your future is looking less and less certain. If you've reached the point of no return, then any plans you're making now are probably just for you, and don't include your partner. If that's the case, your mind has been made up for you. - 32510
During this time, behavior can be quite strange; you're still acting mostly like a couple, at least outwardly, but internally, pretty much anything goes. Let's take a look at what's going on inside your head.
As you progress through the stage in between "together" and "broken up", the emotional distance, not to mention the actual physical distance, between you and your partner becomes bigger and bigger. And at a certain point that distance will become so great that you find yourself thinking more as a single person than as someone who is part of a couple.
Here are three things to look for. If you recognize yourself in these, it's time for a possibly uncomfortable talk with your partner. Do otherwise and you run the risk of actually acting like you're a free agent before you become one.
1. You are looking at and thinking about other people
And the thing is, you're not doing it just for fun. You're checking out other people and thinking about what it would be like to approach them. You fantasize (albeit briefly) about how you'd be with them instead. You compare what you have with what you could have with this other person. All clear signs that you have mentally checked out of your current relationship.
It comes down to this; you're spending more time pondering what you could have with another partner than thinking about what you already have. It's not a stretch to say that you aren't satisfied anymore.
2. You fantasize about alone time
A few years ago you'd have a bad day at work and come home to a lovely cuddle with your partner; it was the highlight of your day. Not anymore. Now the very thought of it is a sore point. It's become just one more thing you have to deal with. Instead, you're wishing for alone time.
I'm a big fan of always having adequate alone time, even in the happiest of romantic situations, but if you find that your comfort no longer is in the arms of your lover, you might want to reconsider what you're still doing there.
3. Your plans don't include him/her
Once upon a time, during the magical part of your relationship, you couldn't even imagine ever breaking up, so naturally, all the plans for your future (immediately and distant) included the happy, shining face of your significant other right there next to you.
But now your relationship has hit a pothole. You realize that as a couple you actually are breakable and your future is looking less and less certain. If you've reached the point of no return, then any plans you're making now are probably just for you, and don't include your partner. If that's the case, your mind has been made up for you. - 32510
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