Those of us who use internet dating know its many advantages. Thousands of available singles, all at the touch of a mouse click await your inspection. Granted when that first in person meeting comes along you're bound to be nervous, but hey, you've done this before, and you have your nerves firmly in hand. But what about your date?
The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it's obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.
The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they're nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don't, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.
With any luck your date will follow your lead and you can get down to the business of dating. But what if your date doesn't follow suit? Well, you can only do so much. You're here to have fun not a therapy session. If your date remains cool, don't be rude about it, but do plan on making it an early night. There's one of two things happening here; he or she is always cool and reserved, or they just need more time to warm up.
Okay, you've dealt with the nerves and the two of you are actually talking! Congrats. About an hour into the date, you discover that your date is actually a bit of a jerk. No, make that a total jerk.
It's all a bit mysterious. You know he works with animals and he's told you lots of stories about his nieces and nephews who love him to pieces, but now that you've actually laid eyes on him and have seen the way he treats random strangers; yeah, he's a jerk. While his emails were sweet and even charming, the way he's snapping at the waitress and the guy who accidentally bumped into his chair are downright embarrassing.
This is one of those things that you can't possibly predict from online communication. Sadly, the anger that is currently being directed at others could just as easily be directed at you in the future, and that's a chance that is just too unsafe to take.
As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest. - 32510
The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it's obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.
The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they're nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don't, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.
With any luck your date will follow your lead and you can get down to the business of dating. But what if your date doesn't follow suit? Well, you can only do so much. You're here to have fun not a therapy session. If your date remains cool, don't be rude about it, but do plan on making it an early night. There's one of two things happening here; he or she is always cool and reserved, or they just need more time to warm up.
Okay, you've dealt with the nerves and the two of you are actually talking! Congrats. About an hour into the date, you discover that your date is actually a bit of a jerk. No, make that a total jerk.
It's all a bit mysterious. You know he works with animals and he's told you lots of stories about his nieces and nephews who love him to pieces, but now that you've actually laid eyes on him and have seen the way he treats random strangers; yeah, he's a jerk. While his emails were sweet and even charming, the way he's snapping at the waitress and the guy who accidentally bumped into his chair are downright embarrassing.
This is one of those things that you can't possibly predict from online communication. Sadly, the anger that is currently being directed at others could just as easily be directed at you in the future, and that's a chance that is just too unsafe to take.
As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest. - 32510
About the Author:
This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands more professional dating articles.
