Honest imperfection is infinitely preferable to falsified flawlessness, right? Right. So, in the spirit of open-mindedness and not writing off perfectly good dates because they aren't perfect, here is a list of common first impression mistakes and why you shouldn't let them bother you:
Late
Granted, chronic lateness is highly annoying. If you're a punctual person it's definitely grounds for dumping someone, but only after awhile. Just because someone is 20 minutes late for your first date is no reason to immediately tarnish them with the tardiness brush. It could just be a onetime thing. Before you go in for the dump, make sure it truly is a habit and not a one of.
Too chatty or too quiet
Someone who talks too much or just not enough on a first date is likely suffering from a severe case of nerves. Most of us reach back to our 6-year-old conversation skills when we're with someone who makes us nervous. Of course there's no guarantee that things will improve, but on the first date, take someone's chatter or lack thereof as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
Calling you another name
I really don't understand why some people take this so personally and get all offended. It doesn't take more than a bit of thinking to realize that the other person meant no offence, they just had a momentary lapse. That can happen to any of us at one time or another.
When someone doesn't really know you yet, that's just the thing: they don't know you. Maybe he/she momentarily thought that your hair color was just like their friend Sally's and in the next second, they called you Sally by mistake. These are names that are programmed into their brains already. Your name is not. Not yet, at least. If someone calls out someone else's name in bed after 6 months of dating, that's one thing. A slip on the first date? A little funny and completely forgivable.
Too much alcohol
Yes, I've done this and yes, he never called me again. Sigh. I'm intelligent, charming and witty and he held it against me. I'm not an alcoholic, I was just incredibly nervous.
I would go so far as to say that most, if not all, common first date missteps are the result of nerves. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off. Sometimes you need 5. Shrug. Let it go; if they are the kind of person who will regularly get embarrassingly drunk in public, it won't take long to figure that out. Might as well not jump to conclusions while you're figuring it out. - 32510
Late
Granted, chronic lateness is highly annoying. If you're a punctual person it's definitely grounds for dumping someone, but only after awhile. Just because someone is 20 minutes late for your first date is no reason to immediately tarnish them with the tardiness brush. It could just be a onetime thing. Before you go in for the dump, make sure it truly is a habit and not a one of.
Too chatty or too quiet
Someone who talks too much or just not enough on a first date is likely suffering from a severe case of nerves. Most of us reach back to our 6-year-old conversation skills when we're with someone who makes us nervous. Of course there's no guarantee that things will improve, but on the first date, take someone's chatter or lack thereof as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
Calling you another name
I really don't understand why some people take this so personally and get all offended. It doesn't take more than a bit of thinking to realize that the other person meant no offence, they just had a momentary lapse. That can happen to any of us at one time or another.
When someone doesn't really know you yet, that's just the thing: they don't know you. Maybe he/she momentarily thought that your hair color was just like their friend Sally's and in the next second, they called you Sally by mistake. These are names that are programmed into their brains already. Your name is not. Not yet, at least. If someone calls out someone else's name in bed after 6 months of dating, that's one thing. A slip on the first date? A little funny and completely forgivable.
Too much alcohol
Yes, I've done this and yes, he never called me again. Sigh. I'm intelligent, charming and witty and he held it against me. I'm not an alcoholic, I was just incredibly nervous.
I would go so far as to say that most, if not all, common first date missteps are the result of nerves. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off. Sometimes you need 5. Shrug. Let it go; if they are the kind of person who will regularly get embarrassingly drunk in public, it won't take long to figure that out. Might as well not jump to conclusions while you're figuring it out. - 32510
About the Author:
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating posts.
