I would say it might be the single most frustrating thing in a relationship when you suspect your partner is lying to you. No, I take that back. That's the second worst thing. The worst thing is when you know they are lying but they still won't admit it. Sigh.
It is to be hoped that no couple will ever have to deal with this situation, but that would be idealistic at best. We'd all like to bask in the sunshine of mutual respect, love and honesty; but life's not always like that
But for those of us still living in the real world, where seemingly perfect and wonderful mates gets wasted and make out with strangers at bars and then lie about it, we might need a little help when trying to figure out if our partner is really spinning tall talesor if we're just being paranoid. Well, here's your quick-and-easy cheat sheet:
1. Your words are repeated back to you
One of the most reliable tell-tale signs of someone being less than honest is when they repeat what you've just asked them as a preface to their answer. Simply put, this gives them more time to concoct their lie. I got busted for this in my 3rd grade math class when the teacher told me that I didn't need to repeat the multiplication problem he had given me before giving my answerhe knew it was just my way of stalling. If you are grilling your sweetie about something you're sketchy about, and you feel like you're playing the copy cat game, you might have a problem.
2. Check their eyes
It's said that eyes are the windows to the soul. In the case of a liar, he or she will not want to look straight into yours unless he or she is a pathological liar in which case you should just cut and run. If your lover is shifty eyed, take a glance at his or her pupils. If they're spinning lies, their pupils will likely be dilated.
3. He/She is inconsistent
Here's a stupid scenario that is repeated time and time again. Your partner, the love of your life, went out for a night on the town with the boys (or girls as the case may be). And you have solid proof that he or she was misbehaving. When asked, your idiot partner, who obviously thinks you're brain dead, keeps changing his story every time it's told. Now here's the thing. Even if we're stressed we're not going to forget the truth
What will happen when someone is telling the truth is that you'll be told the same thing over and over again. Because a truthful person will want you to believe them, so they'll repeat themselves ad nauseum until you do. If your guy or gal's story takes on a shape shifting quality, beware.
4. Overly defensive
Now, keep in mind how you are approaching your sweetie in this situation; if you're in attack mode, even the most kind and honest of the bunch are going to get defensive, which can make anyone look guilty. But if your partner's level of defensiveness is way out of proportion to the tone of your conversation, that might be their pre-existing lie guilt bubbling up to the surface. Even if you don't know they're lying yet, if they suspect you know of their dishonesty, they're going to throw up their walls. Related sign: they use overly convincing language. - 32510
It is to be hoped that no couple will ever have to deal with this situation, but that would be idealistic at best. We'd all like to bask in the sunshine of mutual respect, love and honesty; but life's not always like that
But for those of us still living in the real world, where seemingly perfect and wonderful mates gets wasted and make out with strangers at bars and then lie about it, we might need a little help when trying to figure out if our partner is really spinning tall talesor if we're just being paranoid. Well, here's your quick-and-easy cheat sheet:
1. Your words are repeated back to you
One of the most reliable tell-tale signs of someone being less than honest is when they repeat what you've just asked them as a preface to their answer. Simply put, this gives them more time to concoct their lie. I got busted for this in my 3rd grade math class when the teacher told me that I didn't need to repeat the multiplication problem he had given me before giving my answerhe knew it was just my way of stalling. If you are grilling your sweetie about something you're sketchy about, and you feel like you're playing the copy cat game, you might have a problem.
2. Check their eyes
It's said that eyes are the windows to the soul. In the case of a liar, he or she will not want to look straight into yours unless he or she is a pathological liar in which case you should just cut and run. If your lover is shifty eyed, take a glance at his or her pupils. If they're spinning lies, their pupils will likely be dilated.
3. He/She is inconsistent
Here's a stupid scenario that is repeated time and time again. Your partner, the love of your life, went out for a night on the town with the boys (or girls as the case may be). And you have solid proof that he or she was misbehaving. When asked, your idiot partner, who obviously thinks you're brain dead, keeps changing his story every time it's told. Now here's the thing. Even if we're stressed we're not going to forget the truth
What will happen when someone is telling the truth is that you'll be told the same thing over and over again. Because a truthful person will want you to believe them, so they'll repeat themselves ad nauseum until you do. If your guy or gal's story takes on a shape shifting quality, beware.
4. Overly defensive
Now, keep in mind how you are approaching your sweetie in this situation; if you're in attack mode, even the most kind and honest of the bunch are going to get defensive, which can make anyone look guilty. But if your partner's level of defensiveness is way out of proportion to the tone of your conversation, that might be their pre-existing lie guilt bubbling up to the surface. Even if you don't know they're lying yet, if they suspect you know of their dishonesty, they're going to throw up their walls. Related sign: they use overly convincing language. - 32510
About the Author:
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